We all have a breaking point, that moment when we've just had enough. This is an open letter to a woman, Grace, who has said hurtful, hateful, cruel things about me for the last two months. I won't repeat the four and five letter words that she uses, but I want to address a few points that are brought up repeatedly. I know you read my blog and see what I post on all social media platforms, because you reference them repeatedly. Grace, this is my letter to you.
You may think that harsh words don't matter, but, to me, they do. For the last two months, I've seen the posts, comments and four letter words you've used to criticize and bully me, but at the end of the day, please remember, that like you, I am human and have feelings too. I've never met you, nor have I received correspondence indicating what I've done that has you so upset and furious, but there are a few points that I would like to make about your attacks.
Wow. I'm surprised you've noticed the 15 pounds I've gained over the last year. I thought I hid it well and have never addressed it until now, but since you've brought it, I thought I would discuss it in this open forum. I'm not lazy or unhealthy, quite the opposite. The weight I've gained is a health issue. After extensive blood work and months of navigating the issue, I've discovered I'm dangerously deficient in vitamins and nutrients that I need to turn my food into energy. Because of this, I'm often tired and the food is stored as fat rather than used as energy. I've finally found someone, a functional nutritionist, who is helping me with this health issue and together, we've been able to get answers. Most importantly, I'm starting to feel better, and hey, I've even lost 5 pounds. Thank you for your concern, but I hope you can now better understand my "chubby" issue.
If by masculine, you mean muscular, then thank you. I work hard and practice Pilates four times a week, in addition to cardio, yoga and the gym, to make sure that I have the strength to pick up my 9-year old niece as she runs towards me for a hug, carry my groceries up a flight of stairs and help my mom move something heavy.
"Lack of winning records"
If you're comparing me to my brother or my sister, both of whom swam in the Olympic Trials and held National Age Group records, then yes, you are correct. However, I'm the only swimmer in the family who broke collegiate records. See, I was awarded an athletic scholarship to swim for a Division I college, where I held three school records, swam as a part of an undefeated women's team and graduated in four years. Maybe to you that doesn't matter, but it's an accomplishment of which I'm extremely proud.
"A caffeine addict who eats too much ice cream"
I do drink coffee. I occasionally eat ice cream, sometimes a cupcake or a cookie and sometimes all in one day. You know why? Because it makes me happy. I live a balanced, healthy life and these are the things that I enjoy. So, I enjoy them. Sometimes I drink too much coffee and every once in awhile, I'll over indulge on dessert, but that's OK. Well, for me anyway. Life is meant to be enjoyed.
"Marked wrinkles around her eyes and mouth"
Ah... I call those my "smile lines." I'm happy you can see them. I love them. They show that I live life through smiling and laughter.
The rest of these -- ugly, wrinkled, loser, hideous, repulsive -- I won't address, because those are your opinion and you're entitled to have them. Frankly, I'm grateful that I live in a country where I, too, have freedom of speech. See, Grace, ultimately it doesn't matter what you think about me or what you write, because every morning as I'm sipping my coffee, I'm grateful for the life that I have -- all of it. I'm thankful when I look in the mirror and see the wrinkles staring back at me and am I'm happy with who I am, not on the outside, but on the inside. I'm proud of my kindness, the authenticity and the joy that lives inside my heart. I hope that you can say the same.